“The kings of the Gentiles Lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called ‘Benefactors.’ But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant. For who is greater, the one who reclines at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at the table? But I am among you as the one who serves.”
Luke 22:25-27 NASB
In my last article I talked about Men. I quoted the verse above and laid a foundation from scripture to call out to men to lay down their authority and lead in the manner that Christ called us to lead. This type of leadership is self sacrificing… it is acting in the ultimate form of love that Christ modelled for us. It is what Paul asks men to do several times in his letters.
There is a battle for authority between men and women today. Mixing into this is the belief that men can become women and women can become men. In the Church one would think that we could show the way in regards to unity of the faith and a healthy view of sex and sexuality… after all, we have the greatest teacher in Jesus Christ. Alas we do not… and instead we see men and women in this epic battle for authority.
Two largely opposite groups are represented in the picture that heads this article:
The man represents Toxic masculinity… the red pill male. He is formidable, he is strong. If he had tattoos they would say “women should be silent”. He considers women less than himself. He is Gods chosen gender. His arrogance and demeanour are evident to everyone as he stands ready to fight.
The woman represents toxic feminism. Though she is smaller she can get in three or four hits in the time the man can get one. She is aggressive, she hates patriarchy even when it is kind. She wants the title and she’s going to go for it. No man is going to rule her!
These two extremes are represented along with various less threatening positions in this hotly contested battle of the sexes. Some progressive teachers today say Paul’s teaching on women does not belong in the Bible. Other teachers selectively skip over passages encouraging men to lead with sacrificial love. We can see massive space between each position as well as unhinged dogma, name calling, anger and resentment… even hate between these positions.
What are we missing here?
We could successfully make the connection between Sigmund Freuds views on sexual identity and the modern battle of the sexes in the church… after all Freud was infatuated with gender and sexual identity. Much of his thinking is guiding western cultures sexual identity crisis. I don’t think however that this is where the battle began.
To say that modern culture, even Church culture is dealing with something new here is to ignore thousands of years of history. The current battle is mostly one of words… in times of the old world it was physical and abusive. If we want to understand the undercurrent and come to a biblical understanding of authority and gender we must go to the beginning and allow our hearts to see the truth from Gods perspective. We need to intentionally remove the cognitive bias filter that doesn’t allow us to see the true picture of who we are and what our God given identity is.
In a previous article I wrote about Bible inerrancy. It’s an often misunderstood topic. I posted this picture showing all of the cross referenced verses in the bible. This shows how incredibly complex the hyperlinks are and how important understanding context is when reading the Bible. If our cognitive bias won’t allow us to see the whole scripture and instead latch onto specific verses that are anchored into concrete… we will miss the point and like the Pharisees in Jesus day miss heaven itself. Here is an excerpt from that article:
“In 2007, Pastor Christoph Römhild and Chris Harrison assembled a digital dataset of all of the cross references in the Old and New Testaments of the King James Bible. On their blog they state:
“Cross-references are conceptual links between verses, connecting locations, people, phrases, etc. found in different parts of the Bible.”
They discovered that the Bible is completely cross-linked with itself. A book written over a period of 1500 years by over 40 authors and split into 66 books and written 1950 plus years before the modern computer was invented has over 63, 779 linked cross references!”
Men have memorized Paul's letters which they suppose give them ultimate authority over not only their wives but also other women. They are quick to point out the verse that women should remain silent in Church but ignore the fact that women prophesied in the Corinthian Church and were encouraged to do so.
Women night balk at the passages calling them to submit to their husbands but ignore the fact that the men are being asked to "love their wives as Christ loved the Church" and "give themselves" in sacrificial love. If that command were given to many feminists they would burn their Bibles.
This battle continues as our bias and selfishness drive our theology.
With this in mind, let’s travel right back to the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve. To save time, I won’t quote entire passages here but just run through the passages. I’d encourage the reader to study these for themselves.
Adam and Eve… in Genesis 3:8 we get an indication of their life before the fall… “they heard the sound of God walking in Eden in the cool of the day”. We learn that Adam and Eve intimately knew God. They had no sin… therefore they were not afraid of God before the fall. There does not appear to be indication of fear or hierarchy pre-fall. Adam and Eve lived in harmony with God and each other. There was trust in the relationships, Eve knew she was created from Adam and Adam clearly trusted his wife because he took the fruit she suggested easily.
As soon as they BOTH ate the fruit… they started the blame game. Adam responded first and rolled the blame onto Eve saying “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate”. I am sure Eve stood there in shock at first, being the first Woman in history to be humiliated by her husband. God then turns to Eve, who says “The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat”, again blame shifting.
While they were both correct in their statement of confession from a truth standpoint, Adam and Eve both did what every person caught in sin does when their sin is revealed. Blame shifting is part of our fight or flight instinct. This was the third indication that a virus had corrupted their perfect DNA. The first was their fear of God, their second was their shame.
The result of participating in the rebellion (yes rebellion) against God was a curse on mankind. Since the flesh had now been corrupted there was no way to undo the damage without death and starting over. As a result God had to explain the consequences of that rebellion… the sentencing had to be carried out.
“To the woman He said: “I will sharply increase your pain in childbirth; in pain you will bring forth children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
I have to admit, I deeply struggled with “I will multiply”. I spent 3 hours on studying this passage in the Hebrew trying to understand why the word translated simply “multiply” is translated “I will multiply” in this passage. There is a nuance in the Hebrew language which takes years of study to fully comprehend. The word used here is basically indicating that God is saying that the “sure” consequences of Eve’s actions are a “multiplication” of pain. The indication is not that God takes pleasure in the judgement but rather that it is a matter of fact. The same goes for the coming judgement of Adam.
I want to look at the latter part of verse 16 where it reads “your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you”. Some would take this as a command to men… that is not the passage here. This passage is talking to the woman Eve and all women. It is telling them something about why things are the way that they are now, therefore… if we translate this sentence straight from the Hebrew it would read like this “and to your husband will be your desire, and he will rule over you.”
When we look at the interaction since Adam and Eve we can see this very curse at work. This corrupted battle for hierarchy has cursed us since that day.
Women have sought to usurp authority and man has sought to dominate them. This curse cycle is evident throughout history. The women’s rights movement didn’t start in the USA in the sixties, it started in the Garden of Eden the moment Eve took the fruit… and has never quit.
Men, likewise have indeed dominated since Adam also ate of that fruit. Ruling over their wives - and women in general… trying to wield authority to satisfy their pride.
How is this going to get fixed?
If only there was someone, some perfect man to come into this world and teach us about authority and power. If only there would be someone who could undo these curses and restore peace between God, man and woman.
And there is…
Jesus appeared on earth.
In Genesis 3:15 God tells the serpent (the shining one, deceiver) that he will put hostility between him (Satan) and the woman. He says the woman’s seed (offspring) would be struck in the heel (indicating an injury) but the woman’s offspring would then crush his head… indicating death! From the woman would come the man who would crush the enemy of all mankind!
Jesus is the woman’s offspring!
We see how Jesus treated women throughout the gospels. This revolutionary "God-Man" turned history on its side! He modelled how men should live. He modelled how his followers should engage with each other and the world.
In John 4:7-26: Jesus speaks with the Samaritan woman at the well. This is the longest recorded conversation with a woman in the Gospels. This interaction broke social norms as Jews typically avoided Samaritans, and men generally did not speak publicly with women who were not relatives.
In Luke 7:37-50: This passage describes a sinful woman (Mary of Bethany who was Lazarus’s sister) who anoints Jesus' feet. Jesus uses this occasion to teach about love and forgiveness, directly addressing the woman with words of comfort and acceptance: "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace."
In John 8:3-11: Known as the Woman Caught in Adultery, this passage shows Jesus defending a woman from being stoned, ultimately telling her, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and do not sin again."
In Luke 10:38-42: Jesus visits the home of Mary (of Bethany) and Martha. He engages with both sisters but notably endorses Mary's choice to sit at his feet and listen to his teaching. This was praised by Jesus, saying “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her”. There was no expectation of being served by Mary.
In John 11:21-27: In the account of Lazarus' resurrection, Jesus communicates with Martha, affirming her faith and revealing his identity as the resurrection and the life. Once again this was a positive and respectful conversation. When Jesus met Mary and Martha and saw their grief he wept with deep empathy of their loss.
In John 20:11-18 / Luke 24:10 / Mark 16:1 / After his resurrection, Jesus first appears to Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James as well as Joanna before he appears to the male disciples. He commissions them to go and tell his disciples that he has risen, making her the first to proclaim the resurrection. This again shows how Jesus lifted up women.
Matthew 15:21-28 (also Mark 7:24-30): Jesus speaks with the Canaanite woman of Tyre, who asks for her daughter's healing. Jesus praises her faith, saying, "Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish."
Time and again Jesus modelled only compassionate and kind interactions with the women he came into contact with. No one would call Jesus a simp… YET… he was not the bread winner in the ministry he and his 12 disciples ran. The ministry was funded by Joanna the wife of Chuza, Mary Magdalene, Susanna and others according to Luke 8:1-3. Jesus was not offended by this nor did he tell the women to be quiet. He only showed kindness and encouragement in these relationships.
Further to this, when the Samaritan woman went to evangelize her entire community Christ did not discourage it, on the contrary he welcomed it. When Mary sat at his feet… the traditional role of men at the time was to lounge around the table while the women worked, Jesus only had praise for Mary. The consistency was remarkable. There was no discussion about hierarchy, the focus was sacrificial leadership.
There is no commandment to men to lead in a manner that domineers or tells the wives what to do. There is significant teaching on men loving their wives. Ephesians 5 talks of Men being the "head of their wives as CHRIST is the head of the Church". That’s sacrificial love right there. This concept of headship is not so much a hierarchy… if it was then other passages calling us to full equality before God would be in opposition. If we see it as headship based on Christ's example for both men and women we begin to align under Christ together. The battle lines begin to diminish and both men and women can "cast their crowns before the throne".
If you follow me on X or Facebook at my Unraveled Faith profile you might notice I often have discussions about Hierarchy. Many men in particular, especially those under the toxic teachings Alpha Male "Christians" who teach this corrosive form of Hierarchical Leadership cannot handle having their perceived leadership challenged. My statement is often "If you are debating Hierarchy you are having the wrong debate". I stand by this.
The Bible shows Headship… not hierarchy. Throw that umbrella idea out the window. I asked Grok AI what the difference is between Hierarchy and Headship; here is what it said:
Headship and hierarchy are related concepts but differ in several key ways:
Headship often refers to a position of leadership or authority based on specific roles, duties, or responsibilities. In contexts like family, religion, or certain organizations, headship might imply a guiding or nurturing role where the "head" leads by example or through moral authority. For instance, in some religious doctrines, headship might refer to the roles within marriage or church leadership where one person is seen as the spiritual leader.
Hierarchy on the other hand, refers to a system of organizing or ranking elements where each level has a specific status or authority over the levels below it. Hierarchies are more about structure and order, often found in organizations, governments, or even in biological systems. It's not just about leadership but about a formal arrangement where power, control, or influence is layered and often explicitly defined.
Headship might suggest a more personal or relational approach to leadership, while hierarchy is inherently more structural and can be impersonal. Headship might allow for more informal or situational leadership, whereas hierarchies tend to be more rigid and formal.
Ultimately… if men and women want to get past the fight for who’s in charge… they need to be able to lay down their crowns before the throne and allow Christ to be their authority. Giving our authority to Christ allows us to be changed from within! As we do so our hearts will gravitate towards serving our spouses and others!
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